The reason most men fail with women has less to do with their technical approach to them than their beliefs about their own worthiness. I’ve known men who’s timing was off, who’s flirtation was rudimentary at best, who dressed like dorks and had no money but still got top shelf women all the time.
I’ve also taught many men, who from societal judgement are successful, tall, good looking, charming, kind who (until we kicked them into gear), labored through frustrating loneliness and relationships with women they accepted out of scarcity.
Watch our shy, short Asian student work through his demons to success
Of course, having a working knowledge of seduction, delivery, presence, body language, logistics, escalation, all this is important. However, underlying the approach you use, the tricks you try is your own sense of self worth, entitlement and mission purpose. Without strength here, you will struggle endlessly against your own shadow. I think the roots of most men’s insecurities are deep and often complicated but there are two aspects that tend to dominate.
One is a nagging doubt that inherently you don’t have what it takes, that for some reason outside your control, you were given a shitty hand to play with. The other aspect is a misunderstanding about what women actually want from a man. We are sold certain standards through our society and media that equate male sexual success with looks, money and status.
The truth is women are generally after something much more valuable and rare, a man who can handle her. A man who makes her feel sexy or as the girl in the video says about Jack, to “Feel like a woman”. The paradox is that worthiness and confidence are not destination states. You don’t get them and that’s it. The process of cold approaching women, forces you to confront your real and imagined limitations and if done intelligently gives you new thinking tools to discern which are delusional bad mindsets and which are areas you need to work on in yourself.
This short film follows the journey one of our students Jack went through with us on a recent Euro Tour. Jack is a 5’3”, shy, inexperienced guy from Taiwan. After years of experimenting with other schools, he came to us with a firm commitment to finally solve this problem. Although as you see, he has a rough start, his plucky good humour and persistence pays off. It’s so gratifying as a coach to help guys like Jack who have great hearts and so much to offer women, finally crack the internal and real world codes for releasing their masculine potential.
If you’ve let those dark cyclical thoughts in your head of not being tall, rich or cool enough stop you from meeting the women of your dreams, take some inspiration from Jack and get out there to seize your dreams.